How I Flipped The Switch
For me, time is not a conquest; I don't see life as a win or lose game. Life is a continuous journey of learning and growth, and I have the choice to either embrace it or run from it. There will be days when I inevitably fail, and there's nothing I can do to change that outcome. However, how I respond to failure is what shapes my future.
I used to be haunted by the fear of failure, often freezing in its presence. But I realized that the fear of failure doesn’t protect me; it distracts me from creating a powerful present that prepares me for an uncertain future. Every moment of failure is a stepping stone on my road to strengthening my foundation and becoming the person I am meant to be.
Some friends have asked me how I “flipped the switch,” but reducing the journey of spiritual growth to something instantaneous would be unrealistic. The “switch” does not occur overnight, and it doesn’t always stay that way. Your spiritual growth journey is more like a scale, with invisible forces pulling you either away from or toward that journey.
One thing to note is that “flipping the switch” is not an easy or comfortable process. It required exploring my past to understand the fears that drive and control my subconscious behaviors. Doing so allowed me to distinguish the past from the present. I learned that life is better spent when you are enjoying the passage of time, not holding onto the past or trying to speed things up.
Below are 3 key principles that keep me grounded and allow me to live in the present:
Lesson #1: Not everything in life is a battle or needs to be conquered. You should never be fighting against yourself; only for yourself. You are your greatest asset in this world, and no one can take that away from you. As soon as you view yourself as something that needs to be protected, you will treat yourself that way too. “Don’t speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body doesn’t know the difference. Words are energy and they cast spells, that’s why it’s called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself, and you can change your life.”
Lesson #2: Be your own hero. You are the only person in this world who can want your dreams as badly as you do. It is not enough to manifest your dreams and hope that maybe one day they'll come true, you have to actively work toward them and initiate the steps to ensure you will get there. Whether those dreams are simply becoming a more conscious human, getting into graduate school, or landing a dream job-you must believe that all of those dreams have already come true. The reason you long for the future is because deep down you know what you are capable of. The moment you begin to act on your dreams is when things start to change.
Lesson #3: Protect your inner child. Before turning 21 in August, I discovered my inner child still living within me. I was brought to tears realizing I am the hero of my own story. I am the woman that younger me needed so desperately, and that completely changed the way that I speak to myself. Acknowledging that my inner child lives within me taught me to challenge my subconscious fears for her. It taught me to be gentle and kind to myself because little Mar is listening (so is future Mar). My inner child reminded me of how far I have come and that I have changed, that I don’t need to be scared anymore. I am a better person than when I entered this earth, and that allows me to treat the people I love better too. Realizing that was the lifeboat I needed.
Everything became easier when I stopped letting my dreams scare me into a smaller version of myself. Your dreams should ignite a fire in you; they should uplift you throughout the day. Waking up and realizing you have an opportunity to be better, learn something new, and do something nice for someone is a great feeling.
You owe it to yourself and everyone else around you to set an example, to live your life on your terms. Some say focusing on yourself is selfish, but settling is selfish because that will be reciprocated for generations to come. I will not sacrifice the person I am becoming to satisfy anyone else's needs. It’s not an easy thing to do, but I want to be the standard for everyone around me.
In order to reduce the suffering of others, you must reduce your own suffering first. If you want to save others, you must save yourself first. I am a living, breathing reminder that you do not have to live in the shell of your subconscious, you do not have to be the puppet of your fears, and you do not have to let life slip by feeling like you are missing something.
